I’m trying to teach Milo how to fetch and I don’t know if he really knows what he’s doing but?????
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
We lazy today (and everyday)
This is some next level embarrassing cat mom shit. Life tho
Today my boyfriend killed the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in real life (no joke) that was on my front door all night. It was truly romantic 😍❤️
- *Wakes up in the middle of the night*
- Me: Please don't be 6am
- Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
- *Shoves face back into pillow*
I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I’m worth it
To hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts
I cross stitched a teeny tiny ship in a bottle tonight - which is by no means original (pattern and pictures are floating around somewhere on the World Wide Web). I *guessed* based on a picture of the completed project that I saw on tumblr once upon a time. I added some seashells I had lying around. Very cute if I do say so myself :)
Sink is comfy
Heather, 24, YYC. Sleep, cats, food, music, nails, sleep, love, tattoos, more sleep. Forever sleepy. Sleep whenever possible.Subscribe via RSS.